Emotioned out

There are so many emotions I feel during a day that it wears me out. Every time I look at my precious beautiful twins, my heart swells with gratitude and wonder at the miracle of life. It's still hard to believe these precious girls are mine. I look at their tiny hands curling over my shirt while I nurse them, their little lips shaped into a pout as they sleep, their little eyes looking at their new world, and listen to their coos and squeaks-- noises that I treasure as they so quickly pass from this newborn stage.
Today is also the due date of my neighbor's little girl. It was fun to find out that she and I were due just a week apart. We swapped early pregnancy stories and I anticipated raising our little ones together. My ultrasound was on Friday, and I found out I was having twins. Hers was Monday and she found out that there was no heartbeat. I stopped by on my way to work that night and gave her a tearful hug. I didn't know how she would feel about pregnant me stopping by, but as her RS president and one who sorrowed with her, I needed to. She was on her way to the hospital where she would deliver her baby. That night while I worked I thought often of her and what she and her husband were experiencing, only to find out that it takes a long time to start labor on a body that is not ready to deliver. She was in the hospital for a few days before delivering her little daughter. The body was perfect and they don't know why she passed away.
I also got a call today from the bishop telling me that the sister of a woman in our ward just committed suicide. What an awful, awful day for this family. When my sister struggled in the depths of her depression, I addressed the possibility that I could have this type of phone call. I mentally reviewed the emotions I would feel and what this would mean for her family. Someone close to us attempted suicide, but fortunately was not successful. I remember the visual weight and sorrow this caused the parents. I can't fully imagine the heartache this family is going through.
From the highs of perfect angelic twins to the depths of sorrow at passing to the daily struggles of attempting to keep order in a home with 6 young children, I am tired. What a full experience this earth life is.

Tanner

Yesterday Tanner fulfilled a dream by going skiing. Rich took Heidi, Ian, & Tanner up to "ski free after 3" at Alta. Tanner did great and came home so excited about skiing. This morning he got up and told me how skiing like a pizza (V) makes you go slow, and skiing like french fries (skis straight) makes you go fast.
Today I asked the kids to help clean in the kitchen for 10 min. Tanner ran and hid, so I told him that he wouldn't be able to eat dinner or have snacks until he helped. A few hours later while I was fixing dinner, he came in and said "You're only going to have 3 children!" Scott asked him what he meant and he explained that he was going to die without food. Luckily the tragedy was avoided as he cleaned his 10 minutes and at dinner with the family.

Salt Lake Half Marathon

Saturday I finished my second half marathon. The first one I raced was the Las Vegas half when I was 19 or 20. I don't remember my exact time, but think I barely squeaked under 2 hours. This year some of the neighborhood gals were racing the marathon or half, but the Antelope Island duathlon was the same day and I opted for that. Due to some unforeseen problems, the Hess Cancer Foundation changed the duathlon location and date the Monday before the race. I then went out and ran 9 hard miles and decided I could do the half. I figured out a dream time of 1:45, which would mean an 8 min mile. I didn't know my race mileage as it's always at the end of a triathlon and I haven't raced any solo 10ks or 5ks.
Rich helped me figure out nutrition and how long to warm up. I drove up with Page and Stacey, so it was a non stress situation getting up to the race. I did a nice warm up and ran into the girls from the neighborhood and Danielle Crosby, my last mission companion. My Garmin froze up which was disappointing (I still have yet to see my race heart rate). I started about a minute after the start as I knew they counted your chip time, not the start time. I still had to baby step dart around in the crowd trying to find an opening to run though for the first 100 yards.
Even though I didn't have my Garmin, there were times posted at the mile markers. I didn't know how fast I was going, but quickly realized that I was hitting the 7 something mile and keeping it steady. I didn't know if I could make it without blowing up, but tried to keep up the pace by focusing on someone I would try to pass or going over my running form. I took 2 gels and only drank water at the stations because I was afraid of cramping up with the Gatorade. Towards the end my feet started cramping up. I licked my forearms to get salt, but didn't know if this was the real issue. I looked for the family at Liberty Park, but knew that I was there earlier than expected. I had battled for position with some other women and during the last 2-3 miles they caught back up and passed me. I was out of steam and couldn't launch any counter attacks.
I crossed the finish line in 1:35:59 which means I ran a 7:19 min mile. I was thrilled and couldn't believe how fast I had been able to go. Granted, the race was flat or down hill, but it was still a thrilling time. I finished 36th out of 2551 women finishers or 181 out of 4139 overall finishers. Now if I can only get my swim and bike times to be this relatively fast...

Hurricun

Actually, that's Hurricane as in near St George, but pronounced Hurricun. The Cholla Challenge was last weekend. Rich had missed the first race in St George because he caught a cold. Cholla has never been his favored course and with iffy looking weather, we were debating about going down. We settled on staying in a hotel instead of camping (sorry Scott that you're still short 1 requirement for your Bear).
The weather ended up being nice, Rich did well in his race on his brand new retails-for-more-than-our-cars-are-worth mtn bike. Rich didn't feel great about his race as he was 10 minutes behind the winner, but that winner (Utah's own phenomena,Bart Gillespie) beat a past national champion who was racing (on his behalf, Jeremiah Bishop did have flat).
Ian and Scott raced. Scott and Heidi played with biking legend Lynda Wallenfell's children, and the only real mishap was by Tanner who after seeing his toilet options chose his leg instead of the port-a-potty. An added bonus to the trip was a warm 10 mile trail run.

Busy day

Happy April Fools. This year for the most part the kids didn't cry when they tried to eat their frozen cereal.
I was off to a slippery slow commute to SLC for primary training from the general presidency. The main theme seemed to be to simplify and help all the children reverently participate. I then went to Steiner's for a master's swim class. I got a great work out in the next to slowest lane (only non gray haired swimmer in my lane-- it always puts me in my place when I swim there). Technique gets quickly lost when I'm 'racing' even though I practice it and today I lost my dual side breathing during the speed workouts. I then stopped by the SL County government buildings (nice set up) for a ZAP grant meeting (Zoo, Arts, and Parks). I was hoping to apply for a grant for Alta View. They are starting a Spanish immersion program and I thought having an ethnic performance group come and perform at the school would be a great intro into the program. Unfortunately I found out that schools can't apply for the grants. I don't want to give up on that idea yet and am going to see if we can apply for it from the Jordan District Foundation or something.
I picked up the kids from school and from grandma's house. Heidi had an April Fool's happen when she got a call from a friend Haleigh who asked if she could play. Heidi was thrilled and anxiously awaited her arrival. She was surprised when Allie, not Haleigh showed up at the door. She quickly recovered though and had a nice play date.
I attended the BYU CON (College of Nursing) Mary Ellen Edmunds endowment dinner. Chieko Okazaki spoke as did Mary Ellen Edmunds. Chieko is 80 but still gave a very insightful talk on the role nurses can play and the term "gentle heart" also involving a wise and skillful mind.

And the reason for the drills...

There was a fire in Corner Canyon a few weeks ago. Sunday an article came out in the newspaper about the city reviewing their response to the fire. One problem they found was that there was no communication to the school buses. "City officials are most concerned about two buses full of children who were dropped off at the bottom of the burning mountain during the mandatory evacuation." The children were dropped off even though the roads were blockaded. Although the bus driver did not rise to the occasion and wisely take the children back to the school, the older children stepped in to save the day by safely guiding the kindergartners home.
It is fortunate that no one was hurt and it is prudent that the city is reviewing their actions.

YUM!

This was a dinner I made a while ago, but one of my favorites. Chicken stir-fry with asparagus, carrots, cashews, and red peppers; fresh berry and banana side, watermelon, and salad from Costco. I feel so blessed to have such delicious healthy food so readily available.